There is a sales apologist lurking on every one of our shoulders. It’s true and that evil presence keeps us from doing something we are all champing at the bit to do! I am of course referring to the act of asking for what we want and because we want to get it is – of course – the best reason to ask. There are a couple more reasons, though. Sometimes asking for a “yes” is a good way of finding out how interested someone is in what we are saying and how serious they are about acting on it. This ask isn’t really about “closing the deal”. It’s more about listening and finding out more about what people want. It’s a way to keep the conversation going, open and positive.
Asking for a “yes” is also a way to get a conversation that feels “stuck” unstuck. Plenty of times this unsticking comes wrapped around the word “no” rather than the word “yes” – just like plenty of times the answer to asking for what we want, when we are really serious about asking and getting it, is also the word “no”.
The word “no” is interesting. It’s not a word we love to hear like the word “yes” is. It’s not the word that gets us what we want. The word “no” has authenticity, though. It has sincerity. It has truth. And it has strength because it is easier for most people to say “yes” than it is for them to say “no”.
The most interesting thing about the word “no” however, is that it rarely means “No. I will never be interested ever. I don’t like you. Leave!”
The sales apologists in us want to hear the word “no” that way. That’s not what the word means. “No” is not where the conversation ends. “No” is where the fun begins! “No” is where the best things that happen to us in our lives often get started. Don’t be afraid of the “no” because it’s the beginning of great things for you.